:::mandy dawson:::

I wrote this over the course of the last few days....beginning on Saturday, July 26.

Here I am sitting with Zeke during some awake time. He's just eaten to full capacity had a poo and pee, and is now sitting in his boppy checking everything out while we listen to Misty Edward's newest CD. I'm going to seize this opportunity to tell you about our labor and delivery experience. Some of this will be a recap of the few updates I was able to post before Zeke was born.

Wednesday, I had contractions all day and was dilated to 4cm at the OBs office, so we expected to go to the hospital sometime that day. But, the contractions tapered off by the evening and we went to bed around 10:30 wondering what may or may not happen. Then, I was awakened to regular contractions between 2 and 3am. While Dan and I were puttering around trying to decide what to do, the contractions picked up to being 5 minutes apart and the intensity and pain increased so much that I started to get scared. At that point, we left for the hospital.

We were admitted to labor and delivery and told that I was 5cm dilated. We got situated in the natural birthing suite and discussed when they might come and set up the birthing pool. The contractions continued to come, but were bearable. After a few hours, my cervix was not dilating past 5cm and was posterior or behind Zeke's head. The OB filling in for my doctor began talking intervention around 8am. I was frustrated because we just got there and already there was talk of pitocin and breaking my waters. At 10am, there was still no progress and the OB came to our room to discuss the situation. She told us that my labor was not progressing normally as my contractions were in an irregular pattern and they were not moving the cervix forward nor dilating it. After hearing this, we agreed to having the waters broken. At this point, the contractions became more painful and I was having to breathe through them. I was able to get into the birthing pool for about an hour and was amazed at how much bearable the pain became, but the contractions did slow some while I was in there. For that reason, I decided to get out as to not further slow progress.

At the next check, my cervix had dilated to 6cm, but the OB wasn't pleased with the progress and wanted to start pitocin. We agreed and the pitocin caused the contractions to increase further in intensity and pain. I was sad to learn that once we started pitocin I could no longer use the birth pool for pain relief. I labored for a few more hours as the pain became almost unbearable. I was breathing through each of them and unable to move or bear weight during them. My goal was always to make it through to the next check. As the 4pm check grew near, I was telling Dan that I couldn't continue if there was still no progress. Sure enough they checked and I was still stuck at 6 with the cervix behind Zeke's head. Apparently the cervix being posterior was preventing the cervix from dilating and causing tremendous pain because all the pressure from the contractions was on only the back part of the cervix. When we found this out, we asked to speak with the anesthetist. I couldn't believe I was actually contemplating getting an epidural, but was feeling so overwhelmed and exhausted that I didn't think I could handle the pain through to 10cm. When the anesthetist came, he told me I needed to get the procedure immediately or risk waiting for another hour and half as he was due in surgery at 4:30. So, I said, yes to the epidural and all the while he was preparing it I contemplated whether I could do it without.  "Wait, wait...maybe I can do it, do you think I can do it ?" I asked Dan. "I can do it,  I can do it.."  I was so afraid of the needle in my spine I could hardly think straight.  Even as I felt it tapping on my bones, thoughts of paralyzed lungs were racing through my mind.  The anesthetist had some trouble, but eventually it was in and the relief was unbelievable.  I actually felt somewhat normal, again.  However, I continued to breathing through the squeezing contractions.  The nurse asked me why I was breathing that way and wondered if I was in pain.  I explained to her that I was still feeling scared from the epidural.  After 20 minutes or so though, I was finally able to relax.  At the next check, they told me the cervix was now 7cm.

For the next  hour were all feeling relieved and more at peace.  I forgot to mention my parents had been with us from around 10am that morning,  I'm glad they were there because things were about to get worse and their strength and spiritual leadership became invaluable to me and Dan.  At 6pm the new OB on call came to check me.  Incidentally, he was the OB I lefft at 24 weeks.  He walked in with a slight grin and mentioned the word karma.  I remembered our phone conversation well.  "I just want you to know that I take call for your new OB and I could still end up delivering your baby," he said.  To which I replied, "And if that turns out to be the case, it will be no problem."  So glad I said that because there really weren't any awkward feelings.

After the new OB's check, he gave us some grim news.  He felt my cervix was still only 6cm and wanted to monitor the contractions  inside the uterus to measure their true strength because he felt they were to weak.  Sure enough the monitor revealed woosy contract\ions.  This meant I needed a lot more pitocin which increased the risk of further complications such as hemorrhaging and hysterectomy were I to need a c-section.  If increasing the pitocin didn't work to strengthen the contractions and dilate the cervix, c-section was the next step.  It is important to note here that it was only possible to try the pitocin method still because Zeke was holding up fabulously through labor.  Everyone who watched his monitor remarked how well he was doing,

The next 3 hours were somber and quiet as we all watched the contraction monitor and the intensity slowly rise.  My dad made some phone calls asking people to pray and I cried wondering if Zeke and I were going to make it through alive.  Somewhere in the mix there was an encouraging check that revealed my cervix dilated to a true 7cm even though the contractions still needed to strengthen.  Still, it was a short celebration and we waited.

During this time, there were a few anomalies with Zeke's heart rate.  It appeared that the cord was being compressed, but was alleviated by my changing positions.  However. it continued to a point that the OB re irrigated  my uterus so the cord could flot freely around Zeke's body.  Meanwhile, that  thought Zeke was face up, so we maneuvered my body in ways to promote him turning face down.

Miraculously  by 9pm or so my cervix was fully dilated and Zeke was face down at -2 station.  At this point, the OB wanted my body to labor down the baby until it was time to push.  They instructed me ti let them know when I felt a continuous need to push. bear down, or basically have a huge bowel movement.  For the next hour, my body shook uncontrollably as Zeke passed into and through the birth canal.  The "walking" epidural had wore off to the point that I felt some pain, but it was bearable.  I started itching on my abdomen and arms and was scratching like a mad women.  From the epidural, the nurse nodded.  "See, Dan, I told you I always have weird reactions to pain medicine!"  Quickly, I concluded, though, that I would trade the itching for that terrible pain any day.  My body continued to shake and soon I felt the need to poop just as they said.  It was overwhelming during a contraction and subsided a bit in between.  Then the moment came that it did not subside and I felt it continuously.  I informed the nurse who got the doctor and after being checked I was cleared to begin pushing.

Amazed.  Dan grasped my hand and we stared at each other eyes wide.  We were about to push out our baby.  It looked like I wouldn't need surgery after all.  I started pushing.  It was difficult because it felt like nothing was happening.  Well, okay, it felt like I was pooping, but nothing was happening with the baby.  Seriously, I was so distracted by the fact that it felt like I was pooping.  I told Dan to please wipe it away so I could concentrate.  I kept pushing, but couldn't tell if I was doing well or not.  They asked if I wanted a mirror.  "Yes, please.  If I see the poop, maybe I can just get over it," I thought.  They brought the mirror.  There was no poop.  Finally, sweet relief.  I could concentrate on the real thing and get the distracting poop thoughts out of my mind.  Now--there will be no more mention of poop in this birth story!

With the help of the mirror, I could see the vaginal opening changing with pushing and eventually, I could see Zeke's head coming.  I pushed with all my might and breathed in oxygen between contractions.  A few times, they lost Zeke's heart rate on the monitor, so the OB put a scalp monitor on him.  Near the very end, Zeke's heart rate dropped.  I don't know how much because no one told me, but I could see the nurses looking at each other and I kept asking if Zeke was okay.  Eventually one of the nurses left to get the OB and I thought it was over and we had to go to surgery after all, but the doctor put on a huge mask while other nurses rushed into the room with lots of equipment.  "We're having this baby, right now."  the OB said.  "Okay", I nodded.  "We can do this."  I pushed and saw Zeke's head trying desperately to come through.  The OB made a small episiotomy and there it was on the next push, his head all the way out.  Next push and his shoulders came through with a rush and there he was in the doctor's arms.  Blue, black and covered with slime and white vernix, he took a few minutes to let out an enormous cry. 

They placed him in my arms, slimy and wiggly and I stared at him in disbelief overwhelmed that he was here and alive and so was I.  Quickly, they snatched him and took him to the warmer to be weighed, cleaned, clothed and apgared while the OB delivered the placenta and stitched up my episiotomy and 2nd degree tear.  Zeke's apgars were 9 and 9 and poor Dan stood between the hospital bed and the warmer suddenly torn between the two loves of his life.  It was sort of cute and I had to chuckle at him right then.  Dan and mom were taking pictures and video.  Dad was calling everyone with the good news and thanking them for prayers.  What a whirlwind and rush of emotions and activity.

Zeke was born at 10:37.  He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces which I love because I kept telling people I thought he would be between 7 and 8 pounds and he was exactly!  He squalled and squalled.  About 45 minutes after his birth they handed him to me and we looked at each other as I held him close to my skin.  After all this time inside my body, I was amazed to see his tiny face.  I offered him a breast and he latched on almost immediately.  His first time and mine and we did great!  Finally, something went well that day!

A few hours later, my parents said goodbye and headed back to their nearby hotel room.  Doctor's and nurses left the room and we were left with the night nurse, ourselves and our new baby.  I got to eat my first meal in well over 24 hours at 2am.  Zeke got his first bath at 3am, and I realized we had been awake 24 hours at that point.  Around 4am, Zeke was swaddled and ready for bed, Dan and I as well.

It had been a long and arduous day.  Nothing like we had expected.  We closed our eyes that day knowing yet another battle had been fought for our miracle son, and surely, God will yet again be glorified by this testimony.  It is a miracle that we did not have surgery.  I know surgery doesn't really seem like a big deal, but I know it was not God's best for our birth and he did intervene.

In the end, we felt exhausted, traumatized, yet eternally grateful for all the prayers and God's intervention on our behalf.  It was the most difficult experience of my life.  The moments that I thought we would not make it were very scary and real to me.  Dan was a rock and supported me beyond my expectations.  We were truly united as one and fought together and clung to each other as our son made his appearance and we are continuing to do so as there have been battles fought and won since his birth and those that are yet to be won ahead.